Classes start this week at our venerable university and, as usual, it brings with it a whirlwind of activity — faculty meetings, lots of deadlines and an interruption every other minute. Last night, I couldn’t fall asleep because my brain and body were both nearly twitching as I went over all the things I needed to do that hadn’t even made it onto my to-do lists.
The start of this semester brings something new along with it: juggling the Pea’s schedule along with mine and Taylor’s. Taylor will be teaching an 8 a.m. class and dashing home in time for me to be in my office by 9 a.m. He’ll also be teaching some on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, from about 2 until 6:30 p.m. The plan is for my parents to take her during those times. I get off of work at 5:30 p.m. and on most T/TH, I’ll wait for Taylor to be done and we’ll drive over to my parents’ house to pick up the Pea.
What I’m finding harder than juggling the schedule is juggling my brain space. I’ve had to carve out a whole new section of brain space for the Pea’s care and well-being. This includes researching baby food, checking out her health issues, researching and pricing toys and then trying to find them on Craigslist, trying to figure out when she last pooped, trying to figure out what she’ll need in a few months, wondering whether I can actually make baby food for her at home, making sure her diaper bag is packed and just loving and missing her. This also compounds the brain space previously devoted to household maintenance — what needs to be cleaned next, what groceries need buying, what’s on sale where, do I have a coupon for whatever needs buying, what will we eat for dinner this week, what will I eat for dinner that is wheat and egg-free, what will I eat for lunch, when do we have time to go to the grocery store… And then there are friends having babies and I want to be there for them, I want to buy a gift, send a card, bring them a meal, spend a few hours helping them out.
The summer was easy. I could easily leave my office at the end of the day and feel like things were well under control. Our weeknights and weekends were relaxed and unscheduled and the sun shone brightly right up until the Pea’s bedtime. These days I feel like I could work an extra 2 hours each day and still not be on top of things. I can barely find the 15 minutes it takes to pump milk for my Pea during the day. Our weeknight and weekend schedules are filling up fast and it feels as if Taylor and I will hardly get a moment together.
When I was younger, I never imagined myself as a working mother. I envisioned myself at the playground, baking cookies, doing the shopping, packing my husband’s lunch, cooking special dinners for my kids, organizing play dates with my girlfriends and their babies and generally providing for my family that way. And our plan is still for me to do that — just not yet. And that’s okay. Because there are all the good ways that God’s provided for us. I have a secure job that I enjoy that pays okay and provides good health insurance for all three of us. We live a 3-minute walk from my office and spend an hour at home with the Pea for lunch. We save a lot of money by living so close. My husband takes wonderful care of the Pea and has been able to find time to work on his music besides. My parents are eager to care for the Pea when we need them to and are only 20 minutes away. She’s happy, she’s healthy and she’s so cute.
But that doesn’t mean that this transition into the fall semester isn’t overwhelming. I hope that by November we’ll have hit our stride.
